**********I'm blogging at and Visual Prayer now!**********

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

My dear friend and encourager, Rulan has reminded me of her favorite poem "Footprints in the Sand." I, too, really like that poem.

There was a time in my life that seemed very dry. Desolate. I had no desire to be anywhere near God. I didn't pray. I didn't talk about Him. I talked bad about Him. I was angry. I was hurt. I was immature. I was selfish.

For 11 years.

Then something happened. I really can't explain it. There was just a desire to make sure my son knew who God was because I had been lied to so many times. So I thought I could help him have a better life than I did. He was 3 at the time. God led me to a church and He made it clear to me that it was HIM moving things to make sure we were at THAT church. I hadn't spoke to Him in 11 years, yet I KNEW His voice.

Inevitably, I got closer to God and remembered how it felt to be in His holy presence. It was as if I had just woke up from the worst nightmare being soothed and hearing, "Shhh. Shhh. It's ok." With those arms of security wrapped tightly around me. He was holding me to His chest and I could breathe Him in. And if I close my eyes right now I can still smell His fragrance. So peaceful and secure.

After He held me and soothed me, He started looking at me in the eyes. He started telling me a story. He told me where He had been the past 11 years. He showed me how he arranged the traffic jam that Phil and I met in. He showed me how he worked it out so that Zane was conceived on a very special day in our lives. A day with a lot of meaning. He showed me the people He used to tell me where He was and that He was looking for me. He even showed me the one who prayed for me for 15 years without my knowledge. Well until that night when He told me how much He missed me.

I laughed with Him. I cried with Him. I told Him how very sorry I was that I didn't trust Him. He asked if I would trust Him now. Of course! Anything you ask of me. I am yours. And I meant it.

He held me for awhile longer. He showed me the day, the very minute that He picked me up. He showed me that during that nightmare, He was holding me. Making sure nothing happened to me. He knew I'd wake up. And when I did I was safe in His arms. He knew I'd need Him. And He just held me and loved me and showered me with His delight. Then He stood me up and He held on to my shoulders as He looked me in the eyes and said, "Now Go."

And I didn't want to go, but I knew I had to. And I knew He'd be there. He showed me one final thing before I set out on His mission. He showed me that He picked me up on February 23, 1992 and He stood me up on my feet February 24, 2004. Exactly 12 years. I couldn't respond I was so shocked.

I am just as shocked now that I didn't realize I was being carried again. He is so gentle when He picks me up I don't even feel it. And now I know why I long to breathe in His fragrance. Because this is all familiar to me. And the next sequence of events will be feeling His arms of security wrapped around me as he says, "Shhh. Shhh. It's ok."


Anonymous said...

Hi there. So cool to be mentioned. It is in deed a lovely poem.
What an amazing post today. It gives me the goosebumps.
God is awesome, isn't He?! No matter where we are, He doesn't let us go. He loves us so much, that He carries us when we can't carry ourselves.

May the Lord bless you and wrapped His arms around you.

Unknown said...

This is so touching. I can relate to this only that I have not had a close experience with God. I used to be very close to God during my high school life. That was 1999-2002. After that going to church and praying became a rare thing. But i still; went to church occasionally, till like 3years ago. I stopped going to church and praying. I have been feeling lost and having no direction in life. Nothing seems to go right in my life. I am constantly having periods of sadness and lack of peace in my life.Looking for a job and not lucky. Looking for love and only end up being heart broken. Yesterday I felt that i have been following the wrong path and going after wrong things. I prayed and cried to God to come to my life, show me his love and guide in life since I did not know what I was doing. I cried a lot. After that i felt so relieved, i felt soothed and relaxed. All I want to do now is live a righteous life. be prayerful, go to church, pray frequently and trust in God always.

Pray for me as I start this new life. God bless.