Popinjay--Guilty

The challenge word issued last week that is "due" today is: GUILTY.






Too dramatic of a photo?
I don't know.

Maybe.


They're not narcotics.

I'm not addicted.

I am dependent, though.

Without them, I cease to function. And that's not melodramatic. Just ask my husband or my son. Or my friends who watched my health nosedive the past couple years. I mean, replacement thyroid hormones aren't the worst thing that could happen in my life. But it's still ever-present.

I'm lucky that my health is pretty good when I take my pills (at 3:45am every morning. Before coffee. Obviously. Not within taking any other medications 1 hour before or after. Not within 4 hours of taking antacid before or after.)

I'm blessed it's not something more serious. But it is chronic and there's not a cure and I'll never be able to stop taking this pills.

And I lost a good chunk of the last two years finding out my thyroid shut down. I spent around 17 out of 24 hours sleeping. That was the year my Christmas tree stayed up until July 27th. I really can't remember much of late 2007 to sometime around 2009. Some big things, yeah. But I was checked-out.

So I'm guilty I lost that much of my life. Guilty I didn't notice it sooner. Guilty that it has taken so freaking long to get the meds at the correct dosage. Guilty that I weigh 236 pounds. Guilty that I have to take so much time out of my day to exercise and work my butt off to see little to no results.

I know it's out of my control. I think it just takes awhile to get used to such a big change in my life. I've never been unhealthy then BAM! From nowhere this thyroid thing came in with a one-two combo and knocked me out.

I'm just now getting my life back. My meds, according to my doctor, are at the right level. I have exercised (per his orders) at least 30 minutes a day, EVERY day. I've went above and beyond and exercised an average of an hour a day EVERY day for the past 22 days.

I'm doing it and I will continue to do it and someday, hopefully, I'll stop feeling guilty about how much of my life this consumes.



* * *

Next week's word is: BOLD

You have from now until next Monday to take your photo, post it and you'll be able to link it next Monday. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

* * *

Also, since the word hope was so challenging for me, I thought I'd give you a head's up on a month's worth of words so that I you can have some more time to get just the right shot.


Week #5--Bold
Week #6--Free
Week #7--Clueless
Week #8--Angry

pop⋅in⋅jay--noun--a person given to vain, pretentious displays and empty chatter.

In other words, blogging. ;)

Isn't that what this personal blogging is all about? Me. Me. Me. For this photo challenge, that's perfect. We're going to dig inside of ourselves and do some "concept photography."

I'm going to give you a word and you're going to take a photo of something that describes the concept of the word.

• You CANNOT take pictures of your kids or your pets for this challenge. Or anyone else's kids or pets. I know they're precious, but they make your creative bone lazy. Let's get outside of the box. Let's be challenged.

Please leave the link to your post (not the link to your website or blog.) For example:

Right: http://michellependergrass.com/week1_photo

Wrong: http://michellependergrass.com



So--Let's see your photos for GUILTY
Link up and don't forget to visit the other participants!

God Totally Called Me Out

You're probably not going to believe this.

So really, the truth is, I don't want to believe this.

I joined this Bible study because I needed to get back to God. I don't know a single person at the study and have never stepped foot in this church. (If you want to catch up on the story. Read this. Then this. And this.)

So, Beth Moore was on the video for Stepping Up, talking about the Psalms as songs and it was so very interesting. She was reading some verses and having us flip to some in our Bibles and we were in Psalms and had to move to Hosea and I flipped right to it because I know where Hosea is and I know the story Hosea tells and just the other day I likened my lifetime-relationship-search for God to Hosea, so yeah, I know right where it is. But the girl next to me didn't and for a moment, when I saw her go to the table of contents, I started (in my mind) judging her and I have no excuses. I just did. And I thought to myself, you should give her a little grace. There's no reason you should be thinking this stuff, this is stupid.

Then I hear Beth Moore on the video say, "ALL of us need to turn to the table of contents to see where Hosea is, lest we should get prideful in our hearts because we know where it is and our neighbor doesn't."

OUCH.

If the girl who sat next to me at Bible study last night is reading this, I want to apologize. Which makes me a coward, because I totally couldn't work up the nerve to say it last night. But I am sorry and I don't want to be like that.

If there was a time when I thought God couldn't possibly know and react to my every thought--that was washed away completely last night. You skeptics can call that coincidence. I think otherwise, though.

And I feel horrible and really need to change some things. What made it even worse (for me, in my head) is when I got up to leave she said, "Be careful going home, Michelle, it's snowing pretty bad." She knew my name and cared enough to wish me well. And here I am, being all mean in my head. For no reason.

Time to make some serious attitude adjustments.

Popinjay--DORKY

The challenge word issued last week that is "due" today is: DORKY.





This picture looks fake. I promise you, it is not!

I took this photo the same morning I took this one. So I guess I cheated a little because this photo wasn't taken this week. But--I am giving a week worth's of words so maybe it's not cheating!

When I took it, I didn't know what (or if!) I'd ever use it. I was honestly just playing with the camera settings!



So. What you're looking at is what I look at from my desk in my office. That's my gorgeous view. The Army Guys? Yeah. LOVE them. Aladdin and Toy Story are my favorite Disney movies and I had to buy the set. There's an old school picture of Phil back there behind the truck. And, why yes...that is an eyeball rock in the driver's seat. Next to that is a stone that usually stands up, it has a frog etched in it, but the window was open that morning so I could practice taking pictures. Next to the frog rock are two stones one of my friends gave me (because I collect rocks. I'm a big kid. LOL)

I'm sad that you don't get to see my antique pencil sharpener. It's up there on the window sill as well.

So there you have it. Me. The definition of dorky!



* * *

Next week's word is: GUILTY

You have from now until next Monday to take your photo, post it and you'll be able to link it next Monday. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

* * *

Also, since the word hope was so challenging for me, I thought I'd give you a head's up on a month's worth of words so that I you can have some more time to get just the right shot.

Week #4--Guilty
Week #5--Bold
Week #6--Free
Week#7--Clueless

pop⋅in⋅jay--noun--a person given to vain, pretentious displays and empty chatter.

In other words, blogging. ;)

Isn't that what this personal blogging is all about? Me. Me. Me. For this photo challenge, that's perfect. We're going to dig inside of ourselves and do some "concept photography."

I'm going to give you a word and you're going to take a photo of something that describes the concept of the word.

• You CANNOT take pictures of your kids or your pets for this challenge. Or anyone else's kids or pets. I know they're precious, but they make your creative bone lazy. Let's get outside of the box. Let's be challenged.

Please leave the link to your post (not the link to your website or blog.) For example:

Right: http://michellependergrass.com/week1_photo

Wrong: http://michellependergrass.com



So--Let's see your photos for DORKY
Link up and don't forget to visit the other participants!

Disney on Ice--Chicago TIME'S UP!

The winner is:





The winner is MEGAN!! Email me and I'll get your info and let you know how to pick up your tickets! Congrats!!

Now, just so you know, there are 23 comments, but one is from someone who is not in the area and not entering. So when I counted down to the number 12 comment, I skipped Andrea.

* * *

Disney on Ice Let's Celebrate is coming to Chicago. It's here now, actually at the United Center. I'm giving away a family pack of tickets to the show at the Allstate Arena on February 2nd!

Disney On Ice presents Let’s Celebrate! It’s one colossal party on ice, with all your favorite Disney friends! Enjoy a winter wonderland with Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, a Halloween haunt with the Disney Villains, a Royal Ball with the Disney Princesses, including the newest Disney Princess Tiana; a Very Merry Unbirthday Party, and more in a magical medley of holidays, celebrations and festivals from around the globe. Come join the party when this spectacular ice show visits your hometown!

A SPECIAL OFFER FOR YOU!
Purchase a 4-pack of tickets for only $44 (Valid Monday-Thursday and Friday Matinees, excluding holidays) and save $4 on all weekend shows by logging onto www.ticketmaster.com and entering the coupon code: MOM.*

United Center in Chicago, IL
January 20 – 31, 2010


Allstate Arena in Rosemont, IL
February 2 – 7, 2010

But wait! Win a family pack FREE here!

All you have to do is comment here and tell me a your favorite Disney Character!


Want extra entries?
(Don't forget to add an extra comment for each of the extras!)

1. Follow me on Twitter and Tweet: Win Feb. 2nd tickets to see Disney on Ice Chicago from @michpendergrass http://bit.ly/7iQDo6 #giveaway
2. You can tweet the above once a day for an entry a day.
   
3. Subscribe to this blog.
4. Write a Disney haiku in the comments.
   

Notes: You will pick up your tickets at the Will Call window with a photo ID. Tickets are good for February 2nd at Allstate Arena. I'll pick the winner using Random.org on January 28th, 2010.

Not in Chicago? No problem. Go here and type in your city and find a show nearby!







*Use promotional code MOM when purchasing tickets at Arena Box Offices, www.ticketmaster.com or by calling 1-800-745-3000. Enter Code in the “MC Promotions Box” on Ticketmaster. Minimum purchase of 4 tickets required. Not valid on Front Row or VIP seats. No double discounts. Service charges and handling fees may apply.

Wordless Wednesday

Popinjay--ALIVE

The challenge word issued last week that is "due" today is: ALIVE.

There's a spring fed creek out in the back 40. It's pristine most of the time. It has overflowed its banks. It winds and twists and goes on and on.

Americans--a people of over abundance--take for granted the running water everywhere here. We are ignorant of how most of the rest of the world lives. We with our Starbucks and iPhones and Kindles and DVR's and how many times did you eat out in the past year?

Even the least of us have more.



I, again, wanted to take a picture of a Bible verse.

Hebrews 4:12--For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

But then I thought of the source of the Bible and realized He is more powerful. And the thought of Him being Living Water came to mind. And what it means that He is my Living Water.

Most of the earth is water. Most of our bodies are water. We cannot live longer than 3 or 4 days without water. Not even a full week!



So why is it I think I can go even a day without drawing from His well?



I did not create this challenge to be a spiritual challenge (and next week's word will certainly prove that) however, this is what's going on in my life and I'm not going to push that away or act as if it doesn't exist.


* * *

Next week's word is: DORKY

You have from now until next Monday to take your photo, post it and you'll be able to link it next Monday. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

* * *

Also, since the word hope was so challenging for me, I thought I'd give you a head's up on a month's worth of words so that I you can have some more time to get just the right shot.

Week #3--Dorky
Week #4--Guilty
Week #5--Bold
Week #6--Free

pop⋅in⋅jay--noun--a person given to vain, pretentious displays and empty chatter.

In other words, blogging. ;)

Isn't that what this personal blogging is all about? Me. Me. Me. For this photo challenge, that's perfect. We're going to dig inside of ourselves and do some "concept photography."

I'm going to give you a word and you're going to take a photo of something that describes the concept of the word.

• You CANNOT take pictures of your kids or your pets for this challenge. Or anyone else's kids or pets. I know they're precious, but they make your creative bone lazy. Let's get outside of the box. Let's be challenged.

Please leave the link to your post (not the link to your website or blog.) For example:

Right: http://michellependergrass.com/week1_photo

Wrong: http://michellependergrass.com



So--Let's see your photos for ALIVE
Link up and don't forget to visit the other participants!

And you thought God didn't talk

What happens when you write this and this and tell God you're scared of being close to Him?


This is what I heard at the Beth Moore Bible study, Stepping Up:

"The Psalms of Ascent have been paralleled to a soul getting closer to God."

"We will move to the next level with God."

"I don't want to be too scared to go on with God."

and finally...

"...to find yourself in a nearness to God that you've never been."


(Do you really think God doesn't speak?)

Wordless Wednesday--Wraparound Porch

For my fellow photography friends, that's a SOOC shot.

Popinjay--Hope

The challenge word issued last week that is "due" today is: HOPE.

To be honest, I struggled with this. I wanted something that completely encompassed my definition of hope. But what exactly is my definition of hope? When I asked myself that, two things came to mind.

Jeremiah 29:11--For I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

-and-

Hebrews 11:1--Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.


So I planned on taking some pictures of those verses.

But I didn't. Something completely unexpected transpired.

It's been snowing a lot here. A LOT. And I was hanging out the window on the second floor in the guest room trying to take some night shot using some settings I'm learning. The dog was barking because she thought I was breaking in. Zane came running then stopped and said, "Why are you in the dark? With the window open? Do you need my booklight that came with my Snuggie?"

Oh Zane Dalton! You little genius, you. Yes! I want your Snuggie booklight. and would you please grab me that rock over there? The one that says HOPE.

I dropped the HOPE rock outside on the snow-covered roof of the wrap-around porch and had Zane hold his Snuggie booklight so I could get a decent shot. Zane asked if he should go get my Snuggie booklight. Off he ran.

He came back and I decided to stick the lights in the snow and this shot is what happened...



A photo that encompasses my entire definition of hope.

Christ is my rock.
He is the light of the world.
He is my hope.
And by His blood we are made white as snow.

* * *

Next week's word is: ALIVE

You have from now until next Monday to take your photo, post it and you'll be able to link it next Monday. I can't wait to see what you come up with!

* * *

Also, since the word hope was so challenging for me, I thought I'd give you a head's up on a month's worth of words so that I you can have some more time to get just the right shot.

Week #2--Alive
Week #3--Dorky
Week #4--Guilty
Week #5--Bold

pop⋅in⋅jay--noun--a person given to vain, pretentious displays and empty chatter.

In other words, blogging. ;)

Isn't that what this personal blogging is all about? Me. Me. Me. For this photo challenge, that's perfect. We're going to dig inside of ourselves and do some "concept photography."

I'm going to give you a word and you're going to take a photo of something that describes the concept of the word.

• You CANNOT take pictures of your kids or your pets for this challenge. Or anyone else's kids or pets. I know they're precious, but they make your creative bone lazy. Let's get outside of the box. Let's be challenged.

Please leave the link to your post (not the link to your website or blog.) For example:

Right: http://michellependergrass.com/week1_photo
Wrong: http://michellependergrass.com



So--Let's see your photos for HOPE
Link up and don't forget to visit the other participants!

The Shit Shovel

There's this shovel in my office with a post-it note on it. I think it's probably an ash-shovel for a fireplace. Or something like that because it's just shy of two feet long. And no, I did not just dig in my desk drawer for a measuring tape so I could walk across the room and measure it because I'm gifted enough in measurement to guess that it was less than two feet long. Twenty inches, to be exact.

But really, it's a shit shovel.

Jill bought it for me. From Goodwill, I'm sure. It was her favorite store. Or maybe a yard sale. She loved those, too. As a matter of fact, on October 10, 1999 she and I went to eleventy-thousand-three-hundred-twenty-five-million yard sales during the day and that night, I went into labor with Zane. She was pretty proud of herself for inducing my labor ten days early and before the doctor's appointment to schedule and inducement.

Jill wrote the note to Phil because she knew if she wasn't here to keep me in line, someone would have to do it. I think she probably picked the right person for the job. There aren't too many people who can put up with me.



I can't wrap this head of mine around the fact that Jill's been gone two years already.

I mean, she still talks to me in my head. I still find little notes and gifts from her all over in my stuff. She was so good at being a friend. She knew every little thing about me and she constantly thought of me. I know this because one of the other things she was really good at was sending boxes of 'prises. (Surprises. 'prises. Prizes.) She'd fill a box with recipes cut out of magazines and newspapers, funny articles, comics, post-it notes, and little gifts that mean absolutely NOTHING to anyone but her and I. She paid attention to the details.

I said that this year I wanted to make more time for the people that are still here. I want to pay attention to the details. I want to bless someone by thinking of them. I can't be Jill, but I can emulate the way she loved. I can pay attention to my friends and give them my time and my heart and things with secret meanings.

Like my Jim mug.



I might tell you the Jim story one day.

* * *

In memory of Jill.

LoveYouMissYouBye

Friday Reviews--Lightscoop

Lightscoop is a smallish device that fits on top of your camera to block ugly pop-up ugly-flash syndrome. Lightscoop reflects your pop-up flash's light behind and around you allowing the light to bounce off nearby walls. Ugly flash looks like this:The above photo was taken before I received my Lightscoop. I'd say it shows a desperate need.

It's difficult to convey my excitement about the Lightscoop--if you could see me, you'd know I have a huge smile on my face and when I'm taking photos and using it, I'm a little (ok. A lot) giddy. Just ask my sister. She witnessed it firsthand.

When my niece, Madyson, (Not Madisyn. Not Madeline. Madyson. I am the world's worst Aunt because I cannot get my niece's name right) was born, I drove to my sister's to do some family photos.

What I like most about the Lightscoop, especially for taking pictures of newborns, is you can get right up in their face without disturbing them.

One thing I get uncomfortable with when taking photos is making someone else uncomfortable. I've taken a sleeping baby's picture with the harsh flash and the poor little things jump and squint and wake up and it's all a very disturbing process. The Lightscoop made me feel very good about letting my niece remain peaceful during this photo shoot.

Without Lightscoop:

With Lightscoop:
Low light, no flash, before Lightscoop:

With Lightscoop:

It does help to be in a smaller sized room when using Lightscoop as it needs the walls to reflect the light back onto your subject. I'm just getting to know this tool, I've only had it about a month, but from what I have experienced so far? For $35--it is WELL worth it to keep it near in your camera bag.

Now What? Continued...

You can read part 1 here.

* * *

Apparently when you ask God, "Now what?" He hears.

...Ask and it will be given to you

Apparently when you ask God, "Now what?" He hears.

He sends people to you who say things like:

"Having faith means deciding what your relationship with God is, just the two of you (and his legion of angels who follow you around slapping you upside the head, sometimes just because they're having a bad day - they have those, too, I assume)."

And:

"Just be you - because He thinks you are pretty f-ing cool and if you be someone else, he'll send an angel to do that head-whacking thing."

My friends are angels.

One told me a story of how he had a meltdown after some particularly horrible events. He told me how he told God he wanted "out" even though he didn't know what that meant. He was a little fearful of what it could mean so he apologized and he had a peace about things that led to him understanding that God invited him to be with people during their times of crisis, that God trusted him to be there for them. That he didn't have to accept every invitation and if he chose not to accept it, he wouldn't be punished or scorned or set outside the city gates to gnash his teeth.

One humbled me beyond measure by breaking down walls to tell of things not ever shared.

One who has been struggling with this same issue is now emerging from the other side and shining a flashlight back for me, so I can get a glimpse of the path.

...seek and you will find

At a church I've never stepped foot in, with women I've never met, but also alone, I've started a journey. I'd be a liar if I told you I knew that yesterday. There was an inclination, a desire, to work on a Beth Moore Bible study, that was it. No more, no less. It was a comfortable way for me to try this thing with God again.

(God was giggling at his mighty cleverness.)

An S.O.S. was sent out to Twitter and Facebook asking if there was a study starting and another angel told me where to find two of them and using my awesome gift of deduction, I chose the Wednesday night study called Stepping Up.

Stepping Up—a journey through the Psalms of Ascent

If the woman said it once, she said it a million times last night, “Because the veil has been torn, there is no distance between you and God.”

There is no distance between God and I.

There is no distance between God and I.

Is that my answer? (I think so.) (yes. I know so.)

Beth Moore wrote in today’s homework,

"This study is about going from here to there. About making real progress. Simply put, if you want to get on with it, whatever “it” may be, you can rest assured you’re signed up for the right journey. "

...knock and the door will be opened to you.

Does God really invite us to be a part of His work or are we obligated and bound by Christ to do it?

Grudgingly?

With trepidation?

The very first verse of the very first Psalm we're studying:

"In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and he heard me."

It's the little things, y'know?

Wordless Wednesday--Quit Buggin' Me!

Did you hear about the new photo challenge being hosted here?

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